Finally! We finally got discharged last night! I am so thrilled to be back in my own little house trying to set up our own little routines.
The last couple of days on Blake 13 stayed quite eventful - and finally Ally (the doc who delivered Poppy) put her foot down made the nursing staff take Poppy to the nursery and I got a total of around 12 hours sleep - wow what a difference. Afebrile, no longer throwing up, feeling like a real person all of a sudden, happy to push on with the breast feeding, happy to talk to doctors....And then those words "let's get you home today - what meds would you like to go home on?" I was a little stunned at first - and stare at the doc and ask her "Well what do you think? I have no idea what antibiotics I need"
She laughs and apologises - she was actually talking about pain killers and anti-emetics. So I came home with dilaudid, zofran and cipro. It was quite a joy to be off all the IV antibiotics - they certainly trashed my veins!
So now I no longer feel quite so much like I got hit by a Mack Truck what do I really think about the past week? Okay first of all it is a total miracle - every second that I look at Poppy my heart skips a beat and I cannot believe that we created this perfect tiny creature. I am fascinated by her expressions - it is like every emotion known to man will play across her face in the space of 1 minute. She is incredibly alert, always looking at things, always staring, always watching. I know she can't see properly yet, but watching her try is so fascinating to me. Would I do it all over again? I honestly don't know - Was she worth it? Absolutely.
How do I really feel about the mother-baby unit where I spent the past week? Well not an an awful of of change there. I had a couple of incredible nurses - Ellen and Karen were the total stand outs, they were the ones who really seemed to listen, who really wanted to be there and who really did a good comprehensive job. I saw an awful lot of sitting around the nurses station - after all I guess usually people aren't sick down here - just 48 hours for a vaginal delivery and 96 for a standard c-section then home.
The lactation consultants? Well I saw I think 3 of them - they all told me something different - but only one didn't do the whole "You must dedicate yourself 100% to breast feeding." Poppy's pediatrician was actually the best resource as was the doctor who wrote my discharge orders yesterday. It would have been so much better had someone taught me how to pump - or how about thsi actually brought inthe pump my pediatrician kept requesting so that I could've pumped and kept my supply up.
The other mother-baby education involved a lot of reviews of post-partum depression. I was up to "Post partum depression lecture version 4.0" by the time I left. I kept telling everyone - I have already established care with the peri-natal psychiatry service - this includes Betty Wong who literally wrote the book on the subject.
All the education was very rushed, and I found this worrisome. I have plenty of resources - I have mommy friends, I know where to find out information, but what if I didn't have all of that? Wow I can really understand how people fall through the cracks. There is a stack of brochures you get on arrival, but I didn't look at them until late yesterday, and hopefully you can ready at better than an 8th grade level otherwise you wouldn't understand. The verbal information we got was not followed up to see that we understood - and the one thing that really struck me was how nobody ever asked "How are you doing right now - are you feeling up to recieving this information?" One "educator" actually stood in the doorway and talked at us across the room because she didn't want to wear a mask - and given the MGH policy right now that means she declined to get the H1N1 vaccine.
But inspite of all that venting - the main thing for me is that we are home, we are doing just great, Poppy is my little superstar. Oh and the dogs have totally accepted her into the "pack" When I was feeding her last night sitting on the side of the bed Raleigh had to be laid right behind me - just keeping an eye on the proceedings, and both dogs get so upset when she cries.....
Newborn Poppy
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Seriously? More complications...are you kidding me?
So it is Wednesday and I am still in the hospital....boo hiss and I am likely to be here until bloody Friday....on post partum which is just annoying me and making me the patient everyone complains about......
The story so far...
My first nurse down here was totally bamboozled by my PCA and just horrified that I still had it - after all it was 24 hours post delivery - I snapped at her "Yeah but I didn't get the PCA until 12 hours post delivery" Then we get into the whole Poppy spending the night in the nursery so mum and dad can finally sleep - that was like asking someone to put Poppy on Ebay.....Finally she agreed to her going down on the condition that she is back by 6 promptly and that "Mom you must try harder to breast feed"
I was very good - I tried very hard and we were able to breast feed and I was very proud of myself and of Poppy. My day shift nurse was really nice and really patient and worked really hard to get us established with the breast feeding. Poppy is such a trooper she just kept going at it! What I didin't realize is that breast feeding also gives mum a bit of a milk coma too - I would be feeding her and would start zoning out big time.
This was around the time I also realized that percocet is not a good drug for me. Robert had gone to Whole Foods in a valiant attempt to make me eat and I was feeding Poppy, and just getting into that nice zoned out state when I heard a man's voice in the room - I look around nobody there. Must have been referred noise from another room. Then I feel the bed moving, and see someone sitting in the chair - I blink and it's all gone. I ignore it putting it down to being tired and my body dealing with all these changes.
My uber perky night nurse comes in and we go through the plans for the night which includes Poppy spending 3-4 hours inthe nursery so I can have 3-4 hours undisturbed sleep - that was like negotiating peace in the Middle East! So the little Kennedy family settle in for the night Poppy is sparked out, and mum and dad are not far behind. I fall asleep only to be jerked awake in what feels like a few minutes later from a beyond hideous night terror - I mean I couldn't remember where I was, I felt like I had to claw my way back. I call in Perky Jess - who was actually really great and promptly got my pain meds changed from percocet to dilaudid - phew. Nightmares go away, hallucinations stop....my sanity is returning....
Poppy comes back at 5.15 - it's all good. I am still marvelling all the time at how utterly perfect she is....My day shuft nurse is incredible - I am being a very good patient again - not being snappy, asking good questions....just enjoying it. The only downshide is the endless visits from the Nurse Practitioners and the Social Worker (seriously a social worker?) all of whome want to discuss post partum depression with me.
The what feels like disaster strikes! I start chilling - teeth chattering, body shaking chills. Oh this is so not good. They treat conservatively at first until at 6pm with tylenol on board I do it again - and this time get up to 101.5, and I honestly feel that I am going to die. This spike buys me blood cultures, a CBC, and triple IV antibiotics. I stop being a good patient. My night nurse was useless - I mean absolutely bloody useless. First of all after coming on shift she never checks my vitals - no temp, no BP nothing.....I am dozing intermittently and finally get some decent sleep after my pain killers kick in. The nurse returns at 3 am for the next round of antibiotics and I am half awake listening to her grumble about how using the syringe pump is too complicated...wow that instills confidence. So all 3 meds go to gravity - including undiluted gentamicin which when it wasn't going in how she wanted she tried to push it........I get up to go to the bathroom and promptly start chilling and rigoring again. I get back into bed, take my temperature - after all even pressing my call light does not garuntee any speed on the part of this woman. My temp is 100.9. Nice huh? And this nurse still hasn't gotten the antibiotics in....I am given tylenol and my "lovely" nurse just gave me a look and handed them to me without a word and left...An hour later I rechecked my temperature and was reprimanded for being neurotic by my day shift nurse - yeah right - she was also reprimanded by me for the simple fact that common good clinical practice is to recheck a temperature an hour after tylenol...
Later on I found out that the night shift nurse did not document the fever..nice huh?
I worked with a nurse in Tucson in peds who later went into post-partum and although we were never friends she was the only person I wanted to talk to - she was the only person I wanted to be my nurse...So Regina Lord if you ever stumble on this blog, you were the only nurse at that time who I felt I would have been able to trust.
The story so far...
My first nurse down here was totally bamboozled by my PCA and just horrified that I still had it - after all it was 24 hours post delivery - I snapped at her "Yeah but I didn't get the PCA until 12 hours post delivery" Then we get into the whole Poppy spending the night in the nursery so mum and dad can finally sleep - that was like asking someone to put Poppy on Ebay.....Finally she agreed to her going down on the condition that she is back by 6 promptly and that "Mom you must try harder to breast feed"
I was very good - I tried very hard and we were able to breast feed and I was very proud of myself and of Poppy. My day shift nurse was really nice and really patient and worked really hard to get us established with the breast feeding. Poppy is such a trooper she just kept going at it! What I didin't realize is that breast feeding also gives mum a bit of a milk coma too - I would be feeding her and would start zoning out big time.
This was around the time I also realized that percocet is not a good drug for me. Robert had gone to Whole Foods in a valiant attempt to make me eat and I was feeding Poppy, and just getting into that nice zoned out state when I heard a man's voice in the room - I look around nobody there. Must have been referred noise from another room. Then I feel the bed moving, and see someone sitting in the chair - I blink and it's all gone. I ignore it putting it down to being tired and my body dealing with all these changes.
My uber perky night nurse comes in and we go through the plans for the night which includes Poppy spending 3-4 hours inthe nursery so I can have 3-4 hours undisturbed sleep - that was like negotiating peace in the Middle East! So the little Kennedy family settle in for the night Poppy is sparked out, and mum and dad are not far behind. I fall asleep only to be jerked awake in what feels like a few minutes later from a beyond hideous night terror - I mean I couldn't remember where I was, I felt like I had to claw my way back. I call in Perky Jess - who was actually really great and promptly got my pain meds changed from percocet to dilaudid - phew. Nightmares go away, hallucinations stop....my sanity is returning....
Poppy comes back at 5.15 - it's all good. I am still marvelling all the time at how utterly perfect she is....My day shuft nurse is incredible - I am being a very good patient again - not being snappy, asking good questions....just enjoying it. The only downshide is the endless visits from the Nurse Practitioners and the Social Worker (seriously a social worker?) all of whome want to discuss post partum depression with me.
The what feels like disaster strikes! I start chilling - teeth chattering, body shaking chills. Oh this is so not good. They treat conservatively at first until at 6pm with tylenol on board I do it again - and this time get up to 101.5, and I honestly feel that I am going to die. This spike buys me blood cultures, a CBC, and triple IV antibiotics. I stop being a good patient. My night nurse was useless - I mean absolutely bloody useless. First of all after coming on shift she never checks my vitals - no temp, no BP nothing.....I am dozing intermittently and finally get some decent sleep after my pain killers kick in. The nurse returns at 3 am for the next round of antibiotics and I am half awake listening to her grumble about how using the syringe pump is too complicated...wow that instills confidence. So all 3 meds go to gravity - including undiluted gentamicin which when it wasn't going in how she wanted she tried to push it........I get up to go to the bathroom and promptly start chilling and rigoring again. I get back into bed, take my temperature - after all even pressing my call light does not garuntee any speed on the part of this woman. My temp is 100.9. Nice huh? And this nurse still hasn't gotten the antibiotics in....I am given tylenol and my "lovely" nurse just gave me a look and handed them to me without a word and left...An hour later I rechecked my temperature and was reprimanded for being neurotic by my day shift nurse - yeah right - she was also reprimanded by me for the simple fact that common good clinical practice is to recheck a temperature an hour after tylenol...
Later on I found out that the night shift nurse did not document the fever..nice huh?
I worked with a nurse in Tucson in peds who later went into post-partum and although we were never friends she was the only person I wanted to talk to - she was the only person I wanted to be my nurse...So Regina Lord if you ever stumble on this blog, you were the only nurse at that time who I felt I would have been able to trust.
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