The following occured on January 28th 2009.
It is a very weird weather day. It starts snowing right as we leave for Lowell - and we are still not sure why my swearing in ceremony is all the way by the New Hampshire Border when everyone else we know was sworn in at Fanueil Hall or even the State House (even better Fenway...but it is below 0 and it is January so I can let than one go ..a bit...). So off we go not thinking that driving just 40 some miles could be such a grand adventure...Seriously thank God we had Nessa's Jeep - we had to use 4WD on the damn freeway the snow got so bad. Then we get to itty bitty Lowell and have to park 4 blocks from the place where the ceremony is and it is now almost a blizzard...and it's too late to reconsider. The Man said I need to be there so I am there!.
We get to the convention center (well not really, more like a theater) and I can't even sit with Robert - he is way up in the balcony while I am sandwiched (in the yellow seating area) with 2 people who have seriously tiny bladders and I have to get up every 5 minutes so one of them can pee. I mean come on! There is a blizzard outside so there are no refreshments (as one guy from immigration so cheerfully points out and I think "well there is bloody Dunkin' down the street go and buy lots of coffee - they turned up for work today even if the concession stand folks didn't")
And so we start texting each other:
Rob: "Yay! Crying child by me!"
I send back a photo of me poking my tongue out.
Then the immigration folks start asking the folks who are being sworn in for interpretation abilities - and I am not talking weird languages here I mean they want Italian interpreters....
We wonder how everyone passed the test as you have to be kinda old to be able to waive the English language part of this whole process. But it gets better - they tell us as the whole auditorium is getting restive that the judge who is going to be doing the ceremony isn't leaving Boston until 11am - it is 10, there is now a blizzard, and even without the blizzard it took us almost an hour to get here.
Robert says: "And the result is.....how hard is it to get a judge here at 10am?"
Seems very hard...the texts get more profane as we start making inappropriate Sesame Street jokes and some comments I am really not comfortable repeating in public....but seriously we were there by 0900 and the judge didn't get there until noon??? Holy Cow!
Robert says: "Because our government is dysfunctional - welcome to America"
I have to get up yet again so the small bladders can pee...and I get told off by some officious little man about how this is a courtroom blah blah blah blah blah.....but as Robert says after I text him about my own personal official
"Judge ain't here then this is NOT a courtroom. It is the f...ing future venue of a Pink Floyd cover band"
And we get into a discussion about them confusing the Pink Floyd dudes with the Sesame St show that is also about to be showing there. Of course I mistype and apologize for being an Oscar the Couch.....and the reply is
"Oscar the "crouch" .....hehehehe...that was funny. Not as funny as Oscar the Crotch...but still"
And so it goes on until the judge finally shows up and after 3 hours of waiting with nothing to drink...not even a glass of water (wow maybe this is a reality TV show about what it was like at Ellis Island circa 1800.....) I get to pledge allegiance and all that fun stuff and I file out and get a certificate with some unknown bureaucrat's signature on it and guess what I am an American.
And you know what in spite of everything I am so thrilled - I finally did it, and I did it under a President I actually believe in. I am an American Girl.
