So I had to have the hysteroscopy - I did what I was told. I took 800mg of ibuprofen and I even threw in a couple of xanax. I was prepared. I was even lotioned and smelling really good. So I get to Yawkey 10 and am greeted by the usual cheery MA. I get taken back to Pod 2 for my vitals and the prerequisite pee in a cup. Seriously guys my serum HCG was just negative in the space of 24 hours it will not have changed. But what are ou going to do?
I am then taken into the "procedure room" and begin the usual process of stripping to the waist and settling in to the stirrups with my terribly trendy paper sheet. I meet (I apologize - I cannot remember any of your names and you were all terribly sweet), a very pretty blonde doc arrives - is she a resident? an intern? a fellow? I don't know, but she was very nice. Then came the attending who kid of resembled Abby's sponsor on ER (Isn't she an OB-GYN too - ah the irony). She is there "to hold my hand" - oh that's not good. If I need a hand holder surely I need something a little more powerful drug wise???? Oh and sweet Jesus I did. I have a pretty high pain threshold - I am the girl who drove across the country with a clavicle in 2 pieces, who went back to work 2 weeks after having that plated. I like to think that I am pretty tough. To say I am now dreading child birth is an understatement. This test (and all for 2 polaroid pictures of my uterine peach - seriously that's what the problematic fibroid looked like) was the most incredibly mind blowingly painful thing ever. I wish I had to the vocabulary to explain this. If anyone reading this needs to have this test please, please ask your doc for the following:
1-2mg of morphine or at least a couple of percocet
1-2 mg of ativan or 0.5mg of xanax
Oh - and warnings of how much it hurts - and how you will probably have cramps for about 3 days and that you will bleed. Little things maybe but not to a patient. I do wonder if some of it is because I am a nurse that people forget to explain things, and maybe I don't ask enough questions so I don't look stupid.
So what's the plan now?
I have to have a hysteroscopic myomectomy (I am assuming this is the correct bname of the procedure - don't ask, don't tell again). I heard the word hysteroscopic and felt my eyes get huge
--- Am I awake? I ask, sure the terror is showing on my face
---Oh no, you have a GA for this, it is day surgery, takes 1-2 hours, you can go back to work the
next day. Dr. Styer tells me, with his usual reassuring charm; We go in and shave off the part
of the fibroid that is pushing into your uterus. Afterwards you will have high dosse hormones
to encourage the uterine wall to come back and you will also have a little pedi foley in your
uterus for 5-6 days, this will stop adhesions - think of it like plastic surgery for your uterus.
We are making it better and ready for a baby.
It is really a good job that he is hot, that's all I can say, especially when he goes straight into what we do next, about actually getting me pregnant. Well we can try on our own of course, but that probably won't work - my ovarian reserve just ain't that good. He tells me that clomid will probably not be an option and after Christmas we will go straight to injections and at that point everything became blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I have to have help - that is all I hear.
And then Cheryl calls me to tell me I need to go back on the pill with my next cycle ready for the surgery. I am very confused. I am also more scared than I have ever been in my entire life. I am lost - I can turn to the internet but that just scares me more - there are so many things, so many drugs, so many options. I want an A to Z, I want a glossary, I want someone to hold my hand and tell me that I will have baby at some point.
And then to see this tonight - this just pissed me off - I feel that this really is men makeing decisions and a return to patriarchy. yes every woman should not smoke when pregnant and ideally none of us would be heavy but you know what that's life. Is this really any different from a man telling us we have no right to choose?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7523172.stm
