This has turned into something of wild ride. I am loving it, I am amazed on an hourly basis by what Poppy does - even the more shocking and smelly things....Watching her suddenly start to recognize us both is amazing as is every little milestone. We got the best Christmas present ever in the shape of her first very sweet smile and by luck more than judgement I had the camera by me and caught that event forever. She is a very sweet baby, and on the whole she is pretty mellow, but when she does pitch a fit wow we know about it! She is very vocal - from her screams when she is wet/hungry/frustrated to her wonderful little noises - babbles, coos and these little sighing sounds she makes after nursing and when she is falling asleep.
She is working very hard on rolling over and can get part way to her side already, so we are rapidly developing lightening reflexes and eyes in the backs of our heads. She is developing definite likes and dislikes - she hates Enfamil Restfull formula which we tried to make nights easier, but she loves the taste of gripe water and infacol. Good job on the latter two as we are now using Woodwards Gripe Water which we have to get from the UK and it costs a bloody fortune - but for her gas to go away and her hiccups too makes it so worth every penny. She just loves the dogs and is very patient with their frequent checks to make sure she is still the same baby - she even tolerates the kissing. She did not like her bouncy seat, and I am now inlcined to agree with my mum in that maybe she was just too little for it, but she loves her fabuous princess swing and she especially loves the lights and sounds mobile that it has - she watches it with absolute fascination. She loves Goodnight Moon and the songs "Consider Yourself", "It's a Fine Life" and "Oom Pah Pah" from Oliver and "Edelweis" and "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music. She loves her bath, but hates being dried off, she loves the quilt Adelle made for her for tummy time, but is not so fond of the baby gym. She loves riding in the car - put her in the car seat and two minutes later she is asleep. She is quite the restaurant star - sleeping through brunch, lunch and dinner throughout Boston.
So how are mummy and daddy doing? We are getting there - we have days where we are like Guantanamo Bay prisoners due to sleep deprivation, and no matter how many jokes I make about having chronic insomnia, that really is nothing compared to how the deprivation feels. Daddy gets frustrated with me because between being tired and way hormonal every Type A personality trait (read obsessive) has been magnified 110%. I am trying to step back and accept more help but it is harder than I thought when my instincts make me want to do it all myself. I am going back to work in a couple of weeks so I need to really start working on this so I don't drive all three of us insane. I love watching Poppy when she sees her daddy and her little face just lights up, as does Robert's - he is already such a great daddy.
It hasn't been easy - and there are a few things I would go back and change if I had to do this all again. I would never have been induced - I would've gone for an elective C-section which probably would've minimized the complications I had post partum. I did not expect to be as sick as I was or for recovery to take so long - even today I am still sore. I am working through some of the residual anger and frustrations surrounding her birth and the post partum care. I have started going to a mommy and me group at Isis and knowing that I am not the only one who is stressed and anxious and filled with self doubt is a huge relief.
Having my parents here during the delivery and initial post partum period was a blessing as Mum and Dad took care of the house and the dogs while we were in the hospital, and also they just (as my mum puts it) "potter on" doing things in the house so it was clean and tidy without messing with how we like things too much. It was a god send especially when Robert was finishing classes and I pretty much was spending every day on the couch banned from going up and down the stairs.
As much as we enjoyed the holidays in hindisght we should never have agreed to host the family - it was way too much for both of us. I had a particularly hard time, and had a complete meltdown on Christmas Eve. It would probably have been far more sensible of us to put our collective feet down months ago and say that we didn't want eveyone here because it would be too much to be host and hostess just 5 weeks after her birth, and to have visitors after Christmas after we had time to estbalish routines, and after I was fully recovered. But what can you do? Asking one set of granparents to wait to visit while the other set got to be there from the start would just look as if we were playing favorites.
Now we are starting our New Year as a new family, and look forward to the joys and challenges of being parents.
